Unfulfilled Ambitions

There is only so much a man can do! Here are a few unfulfilled ambitions of Craig Pulsar:

• To release a Eurodance track a week before Eurovision based on Edvard Grieg's I Dovregubbens Hall fronted by a hot Scandinavian girl/boy duo. They will be called the 'Nul Points'.
• To get a decent singer to cover 'Ten to 2'. Ambition achieved!
• To paint the boring brick facade of Hampden Park with a huge mural of intertwined Celtic motifs.
• To fly an aeroplane. Ambition achieved!
• To learn to sing.
• To write an anti-comedy set in a hotel where no one ever checks in and there are no laughs at all.
• To make a music video with dancing robots. Ambition achieved!
• Cruel, but: for Billy Sloan's 'Celebrity Arm' to get stuck that way, and he has to turn sideways to pass through narrow doorways.
• To do something useful for a change, like volunteering at the CHAS hospice.
• To write the theme to a popular TV show. Or unpopular. Not fussy.
• To publish a book about Scotland, kind of like www.loveofscotland.com (plug) except better. Ambition achieved!
• Full employment, free school meals, and a tax on tungsten filament lightbulbs.
• To climb the Matterhorn.
• To see Motormark, Flying Matchstick Men, and Electroluvs on the same night. Ambition achieved!